Meet ME AT The Mass

I walked into church late on that Sunday morning. Had it not been my PHD time wasting while getting dressed, I would have made it on time, but oh well… nilipambana na hali yangu. The bubbly short usher led me to a vacant seat after asking a certain reluctant young fellow to scoot over for me. I majestically took my seat while struggling to not say, “Nye nye nye nye bubu!” to his face (the reluctant young fellow). This is the house of the Lord si kwa mama yako chokeee!

As the Holy Mass progressed, I could feel him stealing sneers at me. I sneered back, in my heart. We had an unspoken beef despite the sermon being about kindness to one another. I finally got a proper glimpse of his face was when wishing him The Peace of Christ through a greeting. Well…he looked quite handsome for a mean person. I was expecting a hostile face. I hate to admit this but he had the cutest small almond shaped eyes I had ever seen. His chocolate skin was so smooth that I was tempted to touch his face. His chin hosted a struggling scruffy beard but his eyes seemed to take all the attention on his facial features. “Peace of Christ!” he mumbled as he took my hand into the firm grip of his hand. “Peace of Christ!” I replied back hoping that he hadn’t noticed my admiration for his face. Well if he was half as kind as his face looked, the world would be a better place.

Throughout the remainder of the Mass I secretly stole glances at him only to be met with the sight of his side burns because the boy child was focused on the Mass proceedings. I asked God to forgive me for my unholy thoughts before communion because iyo ni uhalifu. When Kendrick Lamar sang, “I am a sinner who’s probably gonna sin again.” he must have had me in mind because when this guy stood to go receive sacrament, I couldn’t help but notice how much I loved his height. It was perfect. Super perfect. The kind of perfect that I hope to get in a husband. The kind of perfect that drives women crazy. But my admiration for his height was interrupted once I took interest in his green sweat pants. “Who wears sweat pants to church? Kwanza who even designed sweat pants that are green in color? Si I thought these things are supposed to be grey or variations of grey?”

After partaking of the Holy Communion, I noticed he was smiling at me as he walked back to his seat. I would really like to believe that he was smiling at me because……I kinda sort of smiled back and I hate wasting my smiles especially on such bootless causes. Mass ended and that was just the first of many Sundays of sitting next to the almond eyed mean guy.

I don’t know how it happened but I am currently expecting his 2nd baby. Oh! and his name is Frank.

Alafu wadau na wadaudettes, have you sent your  KES 550 to the number 0712346357 (Sylvia Ogutu) for the No Stain No Check Campaign? Kindly send you contribution before 29th February 2020. Your contribution will go a long way in supporting a young girl in Oloitoktok and giving her dignity during her menstrual periods for a whole year. Read more details here.

Have a blessed Ash Wednesday and a lovely week.