It ends where you choose to hide your truth and the persistent lies begin. It ends when you opt to furnish me with mystery instead of the liberating air of honesty and vulnerability. The constant fights that have us blaming each other are a clear indication of what the end looks like. “Talk to me.” I keep begging you to allow me into your space, your thoughts, and your world. But my incessant pleas fall on deaf ears.
In the beginning it was intense and pregnant with promises. We defied all odds and stuck together. Despite the constant mtaachana tu comments from committee of dirty heart members, we soldiered on. As a team! Unfazed! Unbothered! But now, what we had is wilting away. Our reservoirs dwindling so rapidly. I guess everything has an end right? This is not the kind of end I signed up for though. One filled with pain, hate, fury and regret. Also read End Of The End 1 here
It ends when I realize that once again I have to tuck away my feelings for you and throw them in the deepest sea of forget. When those around me are celebrating that things are falling apart because, they warned me. They warned me not once but several times, “The problem with you is that you never learn.” They quip.
“I should have done my due diligence.” I mutter as I hit my forehead severally with my palm. Now my pillows will be tear soaked once again. How I hate the aftermath! Endless bouts of depression, semi-suppressed rage, self-blame and every other negative emotion.
It ends when you desire for my love fizzles out slowly as I watch painfully. When you chose to hurt me over and over again with your indifference and aloofness. Sometimes I think you hurt me intentionally but I guess we will never know. I thought that you cared. But care does fizzle out too right? I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to give you a chance to fight for me. But you seem uninterested and that, stings.
All in all, it ends with acceptance that sometimes things don’t go according to plan.
She wants the wrong loving, namuuliza baby girl uko na roho ngapi?Scar Mkadinali