Roast Night

Disclaimer. This is yet another excuse…….

Ladies and gentlemen, once again I failed to write my blog post on Monday evening. I know I know, nimezidi with my endless excuses. I am beginning to sound like a toxic ex but at least hear me out. OK? So my small bro Felix, passed by my workplace yesterday afternoon and spent the entire time annoying me. Despite all that, I still asked him to come to my place and then go back to mum’s the following day to which he agreed. I mean why would he say no to more hours of getting on my nerves? That is one of his hobbies.

I was supposed to get to the house, brew my hibiscus tea and write, which I did. However, several words later, the article still didn’t make sense. Furthermore, my small brother kept distracting me with memes. I love memes guys and you know that. In short, we ended up giggling at tons of memes and roasting our exes. We also roasted ourselves for putting ourselves and our exes through those relationships.

Just in case you have ever broken my brother’s or my heart just know we spent an entire evening roasting you. Yes, we dedicated a great amount of time making fun of you and enjoyed it, thoroughly! We laughed so hard that we couldn’t breathe. You should thank God that we are not Taylor Swift because we would have written an entire song roasting you. There are better ways of dealing with heartbreak but wolefa meen! Roasting those who hurt us is now our modus operandi. Kama uko na shida, kuja unipige niko Kawangware.

Anyway, where was I? Explaining how this post came to be. I made a mental note to type the blog post on my phone today morning during my commute. However, the devil was on my case and I ended up boarding a matatu that was blasting Patanisho. I love Patanisho! Mind you, I got to the matatu stage late because I had spent an unhealthy amount of my morning arguing with my small bro. Arguing is one of our favorite pastime activities. Actually, it is how we bond. Long story short I ended up typing this after getting to work.

Dear reader as you can see, kuna shida. If by any chance you have been touched by this story and want to pay for therapy for my small bro or me or both of us. Or you want to pray for us or take us for exorcism, please comment down below. It is clear that we really need that. However, I can’t guarantee you that we will not roast the therapist, the shrink, the pastor, or the jalemo (mutu ya maombi). To my small bro, stop searching for those annoying Youtube shows that you watch on my devices. You are messing with my algorithm! Rat!

Have a good week.

Kuna shughli haitakangi mbogi

Breeder LW