I should have posted this article yesterday but by then, it was just an idea floating in my brain plus, I got carried away binge watching Master Trail, plus it was a holiday, plus I was still bugging my small sister, it is therapeutic I swear. That’s what she gets for saying “lolsies” instead of laughing at my jokes. People who say lol are a special type of crazy.

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Of late I have become obsessed with making the most out of my weekend. I hate the feeling I get whenever I fail to accomplish errands that I plan to do during a weekend. Must be the adulting bug. So last Saturday, I had planned to visit my cousin Regie Opondo and drop some vases at her place. Regie if you are reading this, please forgive me, I love you. Also, you and I have the cutest foreheads in the world and a penchant for DIY projects. We are kindred spirits. I was also supposed to get my eyebrows done (I know I have been postponing this, read here) and then go to my mum’s house. All these were to be done after I had cleaned up my house and done the laundry.

I was still in bed psyching myself up for the Saturday errands ahead when my cousin Cecil called, “Anyes kuja twende ziplining.” He yelled from the other end of the call. Cecil is always very loud, I don’t know if this is part of the law school curriculum.

“Hata salamu za Bwana huna?” I responded. I should already get used to this.

“OK. Sasa Anyes. Kuja twende ziplining.” He repeated giggling. Seriously why debaucher my beautiful name surely? Nkt  

Leo?” I asked while rubbing my eyes

“Yeah, leo.”

“Cecil mbona husemangi hizi vitu mapema? Today I had plans to deliver vases kwa Regie.” I replied.

“Hutaki kwenda ziplining?” He prodded guilt-tripping me.

“Hebu let me make some calls then get back to you.”

“Chaguo ni lako, vases ama ziplining.” He chortled knowing that I would obviously take his offer.

Suffice to say, I called Cecil back and told him that I was game. After all, who says no to Cecil, with his loud voice and persuasiveness? Who? He was the only relative I had around while on campus at Eldoret. Our campus days brought us close because he would visit me at my campus diligently. He always came with his equally loud friends who I highly suspect were pre-warned against hitting on me. The poor things must have been given that stay away from my baby sister kind of lecture. Cecil, what if one of those law school pals of yours was my soulmate? What will you tell God on judgment day when he asks you why you stood in course of true love? Huh? Wickedness imekusaidia na nini?

Anyway, Cecil and I met up in town circa 1:15 pm and he made fun of me and how I lost my phone as we waited for his girlfriend Julie and little sister Winnie to join us for the adventure. By the way, Cecil, the jokes you made about my phone getting lost were not funny *rolls eyes* Once Julie and Winnie got to town, we took the first cab to Paradise Lost. I don’t know if it’s just me but does anyone else feel awkward in silent cab trips? Methinks that those cab drivers who have no conversations with their clients are covert psychopaths. Thank God our cab driver indulged us in some small talk.

As soon as we got to Paradise Lost, I could feel the excitement among us. We walked through the entrance that was lined by big trees looking for the zip lining spot and once we got to it, we were welcomed in by a light-skinned guy who would later lie to me that his name was Brown. Light skinned niggaz though! Even after knowing one light-skinned guy (my office boyfriend Muchai), for such a long time, I still don’t understand these people. So, Brown who I later found out was called Mwas, allowed us to put our bags in his office and gave us some forms to fill. At first, I was all excited about this ziplining thingy but after Julie (who is also a lawyer), read out some of the clauses in the forms, I began to panic. Mwas however was there to calm us down and fit us into the gear which included straps, helmets, lifesaver jackets, and gloves.

My naïve expectation was that we would go straight to the action after wearing the gear but no, apparently there was like a whole course with both theory and practical units to be undertaken beforehand.  Mwas was joined by his colleague Sam who had really perfect eyelashes, I was tempted to ask him about the mascara he uses but he was the tough teacher so jokes aside. Yeah, plus no guy wants to be told he has nice eyelashes when at work, that would be some kind of harassment right? Sam led us to a mini zip wire and gave us instructions on what to do before, during, and after. I learned that there is a whole technique on how to move faster or even break when ziplining, that was mind-blowing.

After the practice, it was time to put our skills to the test, and let me tell you Maina, I was freaking out!! Thank God had gone to pee before wearing the gear. First went Winnie, she didn’t really seem scared, in fact, she couldn’t wait to get up there. Then Julie, then Cecil and lastly me. I just remember Sam telling to fold my legs and pushing me away like a rat on the haiwei (I love this phrase). I was so terrified of getting stuck on the zip line, to be honest. But I serve a living God guys, everything went smoothly. The feeling up there was liberating and no I didn’t pee on myself.

Once we got to the end, where Mwas was waiting for us, we had to zip line back to the end where Sam had pushed us from. This second ride wasn’t as scary as the first one but still, I had a lingering fear of getting stuck. By then there were a couple of guys who had come to watch us fighting our fears on the zip line. One of them was a young father who wanted his son to participate too. The son looked so excited and ready to go but I still wanted to ask him if he was really sure about this experience. Mwas then helped us out of our gear and I couldn’t help but feel proud of myself. Zip lining is not as scary as it looks after all. Also, shout out to Mwas who was kind enough to take pictures and videos of us during the event. The dude went all out! Cheers! Getting the photos from Cecil was a hustle but we thank God ooh!

We later sat under one of the gazebos to have our snacks over some banter. There were some drunk fellows in a nearby gazebo blasting Amapiano music by the water mass under the zipline. These Amapiano peeps are everywhere I tell you. I have to admit that it was fun to listen to both Cecil’s and Julie’s versions of how they met. It is crazy how they were both talking about one incident but from different perspectives, love is a beautiful thing, guys. By the time we were done with our banter, it was very late and we had to wrap up the fun.

Winnie and I got into one cab and took off before Cecil and Julie after agreeing to meet up in town before departing to our homes. During our ride, Winnie told me that she wished her twin sister Wendy would have joined us for the fun afternoon, those two are inseparable. She also told me that Cecil is an amazing big brother, that even though at times she wished she had a big sister, she was grateful to have a big brother like Cecil. He is always ready to listen to her whenever she needs someone to talk to. And I couldn’t agree more, Cecil has always been there to listen to my rants and remind me to tame the empath in me because I overdo it sometimes. He has this tough exterior but deep down he is one of the coolest people I know (Cecil usifure kichwa prisss! Nyenyekea Mungu akutumie).

We got to town late so I couldn’t go to my mum’s place. I just remember being so grateful for the amazing Saturday. It was not in my plan but it was fun, nothing beats fam time. I had planned to do a lot of stuff this year and while a lot of them still remain unaccomplished, I am happy that I achieved one bucket list item, thanks to Cecil.

I got loyalty, got royalty inside my DNA

Kendrick Lamar