I will be honest, I didn’t know how to introduce today’s article. This is because its author is a writer that I love, respect, and admire so much. The first time I came across Shadrack Landi’s blog The Rackster, I was blown away by his creativity and mastery of the English language. His fluency made me sound like I speak Egrich kwa ubari but bora uhai guys. Since I am such a groupie, I would tag him on posts and mention him on my blog from time to time.
And because God is good I got the chance to meet him in person when he offered to take me out for a birthday cocktail in 2018 aaaaaww! The birthday treat was awesome only that nilichoma! When Nyashinski sang ”Nilikuwa nachoma mpaka kwa filter” in his hit Properly he must have had me in mind. But in my defense…….OK, OK, nothing can justify kuchoma kwangu on that day.
Like I said God is good. Shad didn’t judge me, instead, he became a really good friend. He has a really kind heart and offers solid advice. We hang out at times, share tastes in music, down some gin among other ghastly stuff every time we link up, and always share memes on WhatsApp. Plus we have loads of inside jokes. I think the best part of our friendship is asking each other “Beb umekula” every evening. For real Shad is so dope, words can’t even describe how dope he is. Anyway, with those few remarks, Shad, please take it away.
The years are starting to pile on and you are no longer as young as you used to be. The lines will get blurry and before that happens I want to write a letter to you, myself, just so you can always anchor back and remember the things that meant the most to you at some point in life. You are about to get into that elevator and get off on the third floor. I know you must be scared; I would be too. But maybe you shouldn’t?
Here’s what I know about you over the past 29 years that I have come to love and hate some in equal measure and others not so much. You act like you don’t care. Yes, it’s a façade. You know it and I know it. You are an emotional being and whatever tragedies that made you build a tough exterior you should probably work on letting it go. And no, working on this does not mean copious amounts of gin and nights you have no recollection about. Genuinely work on these traumas and make yourself a better person. Also, let more people in. “I am okay” sounds like a nice reply but find people you can undress your emotional attire before and bare the naked truth right in front of them.
Stop saying you are sorry all the damn time! I know you hate being confrontational and you do anything to avoid been in a position where you have to be or face an antagonist. Sometimes you do not need to mouth those words but instead, raise the middle finger and say F U. You will feel so much better and you might actually like the fact that you are free from the shackles of societal norms. As a matter of fact, when that bell dings midnight on your birthday start by calling all the people that have used you as a doormat.
Also, you are not a nice person. It may seem that way to other people but we both know that camouflaged in that niceness there is you. A cynical bastard that can scathe the world with his words and make an adult cry. Not that it is a bad thing if they deserve it rain hell when needed but work on releasing that cynicism that’s thinly veiled in anger sometimes. It eats you up and you know it. See a therapist or find a pillow buddy to spill all your secrets to. But, do remember as you let it all out let some gin in too. Find the perfect balance.
Do you know why I am your best friend? Honesty. It is brutal. You rarely mince your words when it comes down to it. Maybe it is why you have loyal friends. Do not let that part slip away from you and always keep it close. The only thing I would let you know is, be kind when you let it out. You have hurt a few in the process, some still hold grudges and not everyone thinks like you do. One last thing, do not second guess your opinion, and if that means burning the bridge and setting the whole river on fire go ahead. Do it.
Cut people some slack. They too are going through things that you know nothing about. Yes, sometimes it does get personal when their issues tend to cross your path and intertwine with your wellbeing. But take a breath, step back and listen. You are too quick to cut people off when all that it would have taken to keep a friendship afloat was breathing. But do not get me wrong, I know you more than anyone else, I am not telling you to fix things, as a matter of fact, avoid it. And that’s where the next point comes in.
You are a fixer. When put into a problem your first instinct is to fix it. You lose sleep, work hours, and even money being the person that’s there. Not everyone you come across deserves it. Learn to discern those that would do the same for you, stick by them and cut loose any deadweight that is looking to take advantage. I know you know who these are and how to avoid them. Your kindness is not a weakness in whatever form it comes.
Finally, live. Just Live. Live in the moment. Enjoy the experience. Feel the day. Own your life.
And before I forget, Shad also writes amazing bar and restaurant reviews as The Kenyan Bar Guy #TKBG here.
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Have a great week ahead.
Herawa donge thago giApesi