I don’t know about you, but I spent my Mashujaa Day indoors. Being broke can make you think that you are introverted aki! You could be lying to yourself that, “Ooh! I don’t like meeting people! Ooh! I love my own space! Ooh! I am an introvert! Ooh I am an ambivert!” But the minute you catch money like this! Chaaaaaaiii! Sherehe just de call you by your name. It seduces you gently and begs you to go and spend your money and meet people.

Anyway, due to my lack of funds, I had to give myself a form (ilibidi nitoe form). So, I decided to work on some entertainment articles as I was sipping fine hibiscus tea. Lately, I have been struggling to concentrate. I seem to have unstable brain cells and I can’t help myself. I have been even grappling to finish a book that I started reading late last month. It was therefore not a surprise when I decided to write lyrics for a beat that I had come across while researching for the entertainment articles instead of completing the pieces.

Now, before I proceed, note that I had always wanted to be a singer or songwriter. Back in primary school, I would compose melodies for some of the Psalms. In high school, I wrote a couple of songs. I even had a hit song (yes! A hit song) that I co-wrote with my roommate (Hi Katila). Guys, I was a star! People were following me all over the place like, “Agnes write for us a song! Agnes when are you dropping your next single?” Wueh! Let me tell you Maina, it was too much. I had the talent and all, but that attention was just too much. My introverted self couldn’t handle the fame. You guys can’t even understand! I even had to see a therapist, guys (OK I have exaggerated a tad too much, but you get the drift, right?).

While on campus, I joined the varsity band and yes, I got to sing along with guys like Okello Max and Amlyoto (massively talented dudes). If you don’t know these guys, are you even serious with your life? *Rolls eyes* Check out their song here. After campus, I was lucky enough to get a job in Kenyan showbiz! I was ecstatic! At last, my dream was coming true! This had to have been ordained by the gods. I was so sure that I was closer to being a music star than ever before, but oh boy! I was dead wrong!

Making it in this business is tough! Really tough! Massive shout-out to every single Kenyan musician out there. Especially Scar Mkadinali, I love your voice! We should have babies already (TTTTTMI bana! Guys I am saved and my heart belongs to Jesus and Jesus only). I wasn’t willing to put in the hard work that Kenyan showbiz required so my dream of being the first Kenyan to be signed to Beyonce’s label died a natural death. But if only I could send her a snippet of my recordings from Bathroom Records Studio, Kawangware Branch, I have no doubt that I will get a deal. Plus, I found my refuge in writing and so far, so good.

Anyway, where were we? Ooh! The idea to write lyrics for this beat. My unstable brain cells gladly embraced the idea. Within no time, I had whipped out a sticky note and pencil and I was scribbling lyrics. I don’t really mean to brag, but after an hour or so, I was done. That is no mean feat considering that this was my first time writing lyrics for a Hip-Hop beat. I then proceeded to record my vocals over the beat using my phone. After a couple of takes (largely caused by the annoying cock that kept crowing in the background, I hope that they slaughter it for Christmas mscheeeeew!), I was done.

Have you ever made something and felt so proud of yourself? Listening to that recording made me feel like the ultimate shujaa! I am lucky to have one of Kenya’s most respected music producers’ phone contact (Hi Ricco Beats) so I shared my sample with him hoping to get his honest and brutal opinion. Lord! I was expecting the worst! For those who don’t know, Ricco Beats AKA Mr. 808 is the producer behind hits like Mejja and Femi One’s Utawezana, Khaligraph’s Mazishi, and King Kaka and Fena’s Run Ting just to mention a few. He also posts dope content on his YouTube channel such as making of instrumentals, advice for artists, and even self-made memes. Anyway, Mr. Super-producer commented positively on my barz and voice. He also advised me to add another layer of adlibs to fill in the spaces (which I haven’t done wololo!).

A nod from Ricco really made my day. This dude has an ear for good music and he spared his time to listen to my work and even comment. That was really humbling. Thank you, Ricco. I then shared the audio clip with my small sister (she really gassed me up) and finally, my clique of friends (Hi A Few Good ladies), and the feedback was amazing too. The sticky notes on which the lyrics are written are sitting pretty on my dressing table. Every time I look at them in the morning, I feel like a star. I should probably copyright them and get a stage name already. You are probably wondering where and when you can get my song eeermmm! But I am feeling like a star right now soooooooo… y’all guys are going to have to chill a bit. Ama mseme ng’weee mnitetemeshe kidogo nipost SoundCloud.

Simple things make me happy and this whole shebang got me thinking that maybe I should try the songwriting thing. I think I will dedicate my next song to my haters because in Hip Hop haters must be dissed, you know. As I turn a year older this Sunday, I will be adding rapper as another feather to my hat. I will also be accepting gifts, MPESA, cocktails, cakes, Spotify subscription payments, concert tickets, Wow Wow salted Rings, Avocadoes, etc. Thank you.

I need my women mogul

Rick Ross